It’s the opposite of homesick. If homesick is where a new place or new ideal makes you want to look back and come back where you were, home-sickened is the feeling you get where you need new things to miss the old ones. You need to get away from the bound of your home, and a home feels no longer like a home you want to be in, although you still want to be welcomed whenever you need it.
It’s okay, you don’t hate where you belong, you’re not selfish. You’re just in a need of a constant adventure, and somehow, home stops giving you that. Home is safe and sound, you want a little danger and challenge that makes you stepping up. It’s okay, it’s even a great sign that you still have that desire to live. Or learn.
Home-sickened is a sign that you’re ready. You had this big sigh of daily lives that surely change into a consistent routine, and it starts slapping you out of mediocrity. You’re ready to be more than who you are at this moment. You’re meant to do more than just your home. You want to do more than the place where you’re accepted. You know that something grander is waiting for you. You started to outgrow the mold you were struggling to fit in the first place while still keeping a fond memory about it because it did shaped you.
You need a new place. You want to prove to yourself that a square peg in a round hole is perfectly okay. But you need to realize this; an unwillingness to fit in eventually will carry you to a realization that you will never fit anywhere. You only need a situation where you can say to yourself, “This is new, and I like new”. You’re not here to fit. Never. You will try, you will have fun, and you will outgrow it, again. Home-sickened, yet again.
So, it’s a phase. Enjoy it while it happens. The wave of boredom mixed with the thrilling tickles of looking for something new. Home-sickened should be a winning point for you who refuse to settle until you find a long term commitment you’re willing to give in doing something that gets you up jumping, not sitting. It’s a bus stop at every corner. You will be bored, you will be uninterested, you will be tired, and you will love every second of it, trying to fit in to realize that anywhere can be your home, and even your real home can feel strange at some point. You will love again, find new things to love, hate it, and love it again. Keep searching, and remember, home-sickened is a good thing.